no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
