I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
