I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think I sprained my soul last night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
