i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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