So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
