Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
