5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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