i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
