Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
