About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
