her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
