Me too!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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