Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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