Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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