life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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