i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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