So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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