i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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