he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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