He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
