He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
