Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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