Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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