Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
