so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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