If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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