i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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