She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
porn star boner night. come get it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
