Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
