i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
pop tarts are not kleenex
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
