well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
