Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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