glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize