i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize