absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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