i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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