Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
