Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
