Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
