That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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