someone get that fucking seahorse.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
