you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
