Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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