# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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