We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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