yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i dont even know how to be here
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
