He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
