i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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