btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
