Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He kissed a someone with a penis
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
