That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
