You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
