i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
