Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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