I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
