pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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