Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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