Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize