Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
