The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
