Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
