He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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