I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
