I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
