I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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