in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
