now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize