I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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