Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
