I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
