Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
