Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She told me I should be a condom model.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
