yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
